It has been a week of firsts for me. I had my first fever over the weekend and today was the first time that I have been turned away from treatment. Being turned away has brought about mixed feelings and emotions.
The reason I was not given treatment today was due to my bloods be a little off due to being sick over the weekend and being on antibiotics. I completely understand that the hospital needs to be careful and take appropriate precautions when a patient isn’t right. So there is absolutely no grudges or ill feelings towards the hospital at all. I would rather be turned away than become really sick from having treatment.
In a way it’s great that I get another week of feeling well. I kind of felt a little hard done by when I lost three days by being in hospital. So now I feel like I can do the things I wanted to do on those days. It also means that I get to attend the Camp4Cancer event this weekend. I was disappointed to find out that this event was going to fall on my “bad” week, but now I am super excited to be attending.
On the other hand however, I feel kind of flat. Although my chemo treatment day is on a Thursday, the preparation normally starts on a Tuesday. I will generally spend a good part of my Tuesday in at the Peter MacCallum Cancer Centre having blood tests and consults with the doctors. The Wednesday is my home prep day which involves cooking, cleaning and shopping in readiness for a week of feeling sick. It’s during these two days that I start to get a little anxious about the upcoming treatment and readying myself to be sick. All this prep really drains the energy levels. I also spend time trying to pump myself up so that I am emotionally ready for what’s to come. So to hear that all this prep has been for nothing is frustrating. There is also the rescheduling of any future appointments that I have made as my “good” week now has become my “bad” week. For instance, we had a weekend away booked in which we now need to change on very short notice.
One thing I have learnt through this journey so far is that you can’t control everything. So rather than get upset I am going to look at this as an opportunity. An opportunity to get me body and bloods ready for next weeks treatment, an opportunity to attend Camp4Cancer and an opportunity to enjoy an extra week of not feeling sick.