Since being diagnosed with Stage 4 bowel cancer earlier this year lots has changed. But the biggest is the lack of control when it comes to my health and the medical procedures that I need to have done. If I want to live, I simply have to trust in what my doctors are telling me that I need done. Firstly, I was taken through an array for tests and scans, followed by a colonoscopy and endoscopy then on to keyhole surgery. These where all done simply to determine the state of spread that my cancer had reached. Once this was determined, the real treatment began. The major surgery and the removal of 50% of my large bowel followed by chemotherapy, which I am still undergoing. You are never really asked whether you want to undergo these procedures, it is just take for granted that you do. In my case, I definitely wanted to live, so to undergoing all of these procedures was a no brainer. Therefore, I undertake the procedures that I am told with give me more time, I take the tablets that help to ease the pain and side effects of the procedures and I then eat a the diet that helps me to overcome the side effects of the tablets. But not having a clear say in what was happening to my body left me feeling like a passenger on my own cancer journey.
I am beginning to wonder whether I will ever have complete control of my life again. Is my life and it’s duration now determined by medical practitioners.